The Chair Beside the Chair

I have a pretty predictable writing style when I write my posts. Usually. I have a life experience that gets me thinking, I throw in some corny humor and hopefully tie it all back to a spiritual truth. Usually. Occasionally I step outside of normal and break the rules. This is such a post.

Last year at Thanksgiving time I wrote a post called “Empty Chairs.”  It was a reminder that we lose folks dear to us and that Holiday meals and gatherings may have an empty seat this year due to those losses. It was a good reminder, and you can scroll down through the blog to read that post.

This year it’s a little different. I know that we all have so much to be thankful for and I am certainly not trying to minimize the blessings or dampen the Holiday spirit. I have even started a thankfulness journal so I can remind myself when I get distracted by problems of the good things in my life.

I have been thinking a lot in the past couple of months about the chair Beside the empty chair. People who are heading into the upcoming Holidays with heavy hearts because they KNOW the chair beside them will be empty. That special spot always reserved for their dearest friend, favorite cousin, Aunt, Uncle, Parent, Child, or Spouse. The empty chair can often bring a grief that can be overwhelming.

Thanksgiving is my favorite time. I love to cook, and I just so happen to love Turkey, mashed taters, gravy, and green beans. Throw in that Thanksgiving week meant opening of deer season in West Virginia and it’s a winner! But I have talked with some dear friends recently that are dreading Thanksgiving Day. They know it will be a stark reminder of their loss.

My dear friend who lost a spouse a couple of years ago. She is aging and often feels alone. Her tears told me this wasn’t a day she was looking forward to. My friend that I have known for over 20 years from 2 different jobs and has lost both parents in just the last year and a half. There is no family left to gather around the table. At least 2 folks I know have spouses that are suffering from the horrible disease of dementia, and they can’t even remember any of the joyful holidays they’ve shared.

Then there’s me. And others like me. This will be the 29^th Thanksgiving without my mom. More than I had with her. The years are starting to fade those few precious memories I have of the Holiday season with her and that brings its own grief.

Some folks don’t talk about it much. Seems to be how I handle it. Some grieve silently when alone. Some use social media to help express loneliness. Others seem to nervously chatter about their experience. Some find their grief coming out in anger or depression during these next few months. We have all experienced losses, and we all deal with the empty chairs in our own way.

So, this Holiday season, give Thanks. Please take note of the empty chairs but more importantly look to the right or to the left of the empty chair and see the person struggling to get through the day. Hug them, comfort them, be patient with them. Send a card or an email. Buy them a coffee or hot chocolate and just Be There.

Be intentional to share Psalm 91 with someone this season. It’s a beautiful and brief passage about God’s love and protection over us. The psalmist reminds us that when we seek refuge in God, He is our fortress and that He has angels watching over us.

Find someone to be a Holiday Angel for this year. It may mean everything to them.